Ayaya, sexiness abounded at Amber's "Say Goodbye to my Roaring 20's" 30th Birthday Party at Wisdom. I know Amber from photographing her supercute Italian Greyhound Meenie for Houndstooth so it was fun to see her in another context. I'll say it now that I was a little nervous because I haven't photographed too many events before and was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the lighting right. So I compensated by taking a shot of tequila and pretty soon after started asking the couples to make out and the single ladies to show some leg. It helped the photos that everyone was good-looking and a bit tipsy themselves. I also found out that my new flash seems to know how to handle itself.
I went to NYC this week and visited this funny russian bathhouse in the Village. When I went in I was in a bit of a headspace of feeling like I needed to make some change but not being able to figure out what that was and just feeling off. Somewhere inbetween the hot and cold and all the half-naked people around me, I just knew that I really am never going to get it all figured out. This realization came after jumping into an ice cold pool after 20 minutes in the hottest sauna and temporarily losing function of my brain. When thoughts started flowing again, I realized that I've been living under a flawed premise that things will get easier if I work harder in someway. I still have a part of me that just thinks that if I can figure out how to be a fancier photographer or publish a book or meet the right guy and settle down, that all my angst will just disappear. But I know that just ain't true. I wandered up to their roof deck in the navy blue ill-fitting robes and knew once again that I had been taking myself too seriously. I stared up at the trees and watched the Russian men eat pickles and thought about my grandparents a little and how I was probably always going to end up just where I was sitting. Then I skipped off to chinatown to eat vegetarian dim sum with a couple whose wedding I am photographing next month and felt totally at ease for a good long while.
It's good, this life. It really is. I spent the day babysitting my neighbor Kayla who is five and a strong spirit. She was so intent on collecting acorns at the park that we filled up a whole grocery bag and then shared a klondike bar on her front porch (swine flu be damned). She has some very sweet moments which are fun to watch come through. I think she is a lot like how I used to be when I was younger. After that restorative yoga and vietnamese spring rolls and building my personal website, which will be up soon. Good Friday.