i'm waking up this morning and feeling this total sense of appreciation for my life. it's a big swirl of lots of things: the practice of yoga and how it helps me to find that inner stability (particularly found through mike graglia's energetic, inspiring class last thursday), the new abstract painting class i am taking at the torpedo factory (you can see my latest painting here), my friends, my friends, they are so inspiring to me and i love them all so much, sweet, steady adam, being so close to my family, new streams of income (thai massage has been building steam lately), spaworld deep relaxation time (i think this relaxation is so key to making everything work), great food (i just had really great affordable sushi at banana leaves in dupont), my amazing house and room and affordable rent, houndstooth photography being so easy and how my clients are always so cool, teaching yoga being so fulfilling these days, the glut natural food co-op and how it gets me thinking of new cooking projects (i just sprouted my first batch of sunflower seeds this week and have been eating them in everything), a great super bowl party with fun, vibrant people last night, byron katie's book "a thousand names for joy" and all work by brene brown (reading them helps me to remember who i am), how great it is to be mobile by bike and car, and i'm still jazzed this morning that obama is our president because even though he is human and imperfect, he's still such a step in the right direction for where our country can go.
it's wonderful, it's not perfect. i still experience doubt, shame, fear every single day but it just feels like my resolve is stronger to feel good these days and bad moods aren't lasting as long. i'm finding quite of bit of joy in facing all of that darker stuff because it seems like no matter what, if i inquire into what is making me suffer, i always find love and light beneath it which is so much stronger and fuller. this quote from byron katie really expresses this for me:
"as you open to the experience of love, it will kill you you think you are. it will have no other. it will kill anything in its way. once you give yourself to love, you lose your whole world as you perceived it. love leaves nothing behind but itself."