oh my those storms and tornadoes in the south are so crazy. my heart and prayers are with anyone affected by the devastation. i can't even imagine how scary it must have been. it makes me think about being in the peace corps. i lived right under two beautiful mountains that were known and overdue for an icy avalanche. just about everyone in town had been affected by a horrible one in 1970 and talking to them always gave me respect for the power of mother nature and how it more clearly defined the precious and delicate nature of daily life. it was one of the many lessons my two years there gave me.
another of those lessons was how to take it easy and not do so much. i fought it a lot during my first two years because it made me feel lazy and bored, but during the second year i actually started to dig sitting out in the patio with my host family after lunch, watching sylvia nurse her baby and my host dad pull out my host mom's gray hairs. during this year, i read a lot of books and practiced my funny brand of concrete floor yoga and i think overall my nervous system benefited from the open space.
but since i've been back in the states (almost four years now in august!), i must admit that i have settled quite comfortably back into the intense doing of life. a part of it is necessity (i have to do a lot of different things to make ends meet in the way i have chosen to live my life) but it's also because i like how being active makes me feel in the flow of life. yet sometimes, especially when one is a freelancer, life is bound to slow down. i feel lucky now that when photography work slows, i have a solid base of yoga and now massage to keep me financially afloat. yet even though everything is really ok, i still have the sense that something is wrong when i am not busy. i feel embarrassed to mention it to other people and am quick to find something social to fill up the time. i think i feel vulnerable partially because our society values a busy life and that we equate a lot of our personal worth with ways we connect with the outside world. but also, i think the openess of it can be too much for me. to me, open space--when they are not consciously carved out--means i have to give up distractions and just be. this usually involves a deeper examination of how i live my life and view myself and it can be hard work, although ultimately satisfying.
throughout the past year or so, people have sent me many great links and articles that i did not look at because they were more than a few paragraphs and required focused attention, something that does not come easy when i am in front of my laptop. so when my drawing class was canceled this morning, i decided to delve into my starred email box and start investigation what i have been missing out on. i found a lot of good stuff in there, which made me want to share with you all and give proper shout-outs to the people who sent them to me.
a great tumblr collection of work from current portrait photographers that i am quite inspired by (from the legendary ann)
ny times article how to keep faithful and happy in your relationship (even though i think some of those research methods are seriously questionable) (from lovely erin)
sally kempton tells us how to recognize and move through perfectionism (from mindful rita)
tips for teaching curvy yogis (from beautiful katie)
massage and other well-considered life musings (from ann again)
oh and i really like this album from the antlers on first listen (check out the fleet foxes new one too) and i am going to read this article on lori berenson that i've been saving forever after lunch and i always love looking at the new anthropologie catalogue.
ok, for all my non-doing i've managed to write a really long blog entry. oh well, little by little. i hope some of it inspires and entertains. love you all.