Hi everyone! I am in Whistler, Canada where I am about to start a conference on Integral Theory and how it relates to group facilitation. As you may have noticed, I have been traveling a lot of late but this conference was too important to pass up.
So I woke up early early yesterday morning and boarded yet another plane. I had some high hopes for how I would find the cutest, light-filled coffee shop in Vancouver to write up an important blog post that I would send to you all today. I'd look put-together, sip my drink and do the work I love to do most--connect with you all over authentic self care.
Beautiful fantasy right? Here is what really happened...
1. After poking around in wonderful restaurants and stores (there's a whole zero waste store!), I found the light-filled coffee shop. But I decided to read my book and post on Instagram instead of writing the blog post. It would happen later I told myself.
2. In a slight choice paralysis moment, I ordered a beautiful drink that didn't make me feel good as I sipped it. So I left most of it behind and dealt with my guilt about not finishing what I ordered (for me, an important part of eating consciously is letting go of food when it's not the right choice).
3. I certainly didn't feel put together as I lugged my bags around the city on very little sleep. But I did enjoy seeing all the beautiful people who did! Vancouver is really stylish in a fun, non pretentious way.
4. By the time I got on my bus for Whistler, I felt like a real mess. Despite the being surrounded by one of the more beautiful views I've seen, the sh*tty voice in my head came alive. Being too tired always gives it a big opening to come in.
5. For a while I tried to fight the voice with affirmations. Then I tried threats. It got stronger and told me meaner things.
6. I took note of my situation and realized there were two actions available to me in the moment: drinking water and breathing deeply. I did both of those.
7. Those actions helped me remember the power of surrendering to what is, even when it's sh*tty. So I did that. I watched the beautiful view and listened the horrible voice and even giggled at the dichotomy. It was just what was happening. I held it all as one experience.
8. I finally got to the beautiful center and decided to skip the big, drool-worthy buffet and had a lighter dinner of poached pears and mint tea. There would be more food tomorrow and I know a heavy stomach doesn't lead to good sleep. Finally in my room, I took a long shower and collapsed into bed.
9. I woke up this morning feeling like a human being again. I always do after good sleep. I drank hot water, did restorative yoga and put my things away. My morning routine always makes me feel better.
10. I realized I hadn't insightful, important blog post yet. Instead of skipping it--which the sh*tty voice told me was the best option because it wouldn't be perfect--I though this list would be enough. It's my best in this moment and the cool thing is that my best is always good enough as long as I show up and stay conscious. Yours is too. We are in this together. We are a mess and we are beautiful. We are in the sky and in the trenches. We are living our lives!
(In that spirit, please excuse that I didn't add in links or correct typos--the conference is starting and I need to push send. Life! Muah!)