When I was looking for airbnbs in Salt Lake City, this backboard was obviously a deciding factor in choosing this place. Plus it's only a mile from our conference center. I borrow one of the cruiser bikes and pedal in the darkness so I can sit for meditation with our teacher before we begin our training. The meditation is so so important for me. I'm experiencing so many emotional states in quick succession. I've gone from feeling deeply embarrassed to fiery and empowered in less than an hour.
It's becoming more and more obvious that one state leads to the other--my darkest emotions are also my freedom. They break me open so I can feel my openness. My challenge is to meet each one of them with gentleness, love.
If I don't then I will spend the rest of my life playing tug-o-war (craving and aversion and craving and aversion...) with myself. And I want more than that--I want as much evolution and impact and power that my life can have while I'm lucky enough to be alive.
So I sit with it all and watch it change and practice being my own friend. It's a funny, sweet and often clumsy process. Meditation (and my other practices) and supportive relationships all give me strength to hold it and to remember that my only real work is to keep showing up, to keep saying yes yes yes to life...