Last week we began our journey of: From Guilt to Greatness: Five Weeks to Transform Your Inner Control Freak into a True Goddess.
Over these five weeks, we will explore the immense power of self-care. We will track how self-care evolves from a personal choice to how it helps us live in integrity, to how it transforms into a deeper form of leadership that can change entire systems.
This feminine power heals. As we lead from the feminine (which men do beautifully as well as women), we foster the inspired beauty, empowered vulnerability and nourishing connections.
In our world that is so lopsidedly masculine dominant, we need this balance in order to move forward in a healthy and sustainable way. These skills are extremely valuable, but they can’t be faked. You must truly live these self-care ideals in order to thrive as your real self.
Through your thriving example, you will inspire others to do the same.
If you missed it, have a listen to the first week’s episode on Why We Cling to Control. In it, Marketing Maven Caroline and I unpack why control has been so important for us, particularly as women, and why trying to control people, emotions and relationships is a tiring and mostly outdated belief system.
This week we are traveling further toward greatness. Once we leave behind our need to control, we are left with freedom of expression.
Most of us live in a time and in a country where we do have freedom to create something uniquely our own. Even if we have to work all day long in a job where we feel oppressed or repressed, we still have the freedom to make satisfying creative works on our lunch break or while traveling to work or plating our breakfast in the morning.
Yet most of us don’t. Most of us would rather complain about what doesn’t work instead of putting any effort toward creating something that does. We drown in the problem rather than even attempt paddling toward the solution
Why is this?
It’s because it’s so scary! In the second podcast of this series, Lindsey and I speak about the aching vulnerability of creation and the fear that it can bring up.
Let’s break this down. When we create, we must be vulnerable. We may be judged harshly by others and be hurt in that vulnerable spot.
Or worse, no one will even notice our creative attempts and our worst fears -- that we are mediocre -- will be confirmed.
So instead of risking ourselves, we close down. We shut off our massive creative potential and, along with it, stifle our ability to play and laugh. Without this joy, our relationships suffer and we feel stingy. We forget the joy that is naturally available to us just through our ability to give and receive love.
That’s a pretty big price to pay just to stay safe.
Yet we pay that price every day by continuing to work at jobs we don’t enjoy. We pay that price when we swallow our feelings instead of expressing them and creating intimacy. We swallow those feelings when we numb ourselves instead of attempting to create something.
It wasn't always this way. We were children who once loved to play and create -- just for the joy it brought us. Yoga Goddess Hannah listened to our first podcast and responded:
“Your podcast and all the things happening have really reminded me of being a little girl and feeling so comfortable in my skin and strong and fierce and alive. And how something shifted when I needed to be a young woman.”
I so agree with Hannah. We started young and wild and in love with ourselves. But along the way, someone told us to tone it down, to quiet our voice and to color within the lines. We shut ourselves down and lost our creative vision along the way.
As a result, we are suffering -- both individually and collective. We feel powerless and desperately ready for real, nourishing change.
So what does that look like? Oh, I wish I knew better. I have a sense that keeps me moving forward. I’m learning with every step forward I take on this path.
Yet within the unknown, I am sure of a few essential things...
Our work right now is not in learning any new tips or formulas to fix ourselves, but rather unlearning the falsehood that we ever needed to fix ourselves.
This is the difference between self-improvement and self-care. It’s subtle, but it’s an extremely powerful distinction to make.
Any attempt toward creativity is enough. Our addiction to perfectionism must be challenged. (Example: This newsletter isn’t perfect but I’ll still send it out. Not everyone will read it but you are and that means a lot to me <3)
We need to support each other’s greatness more than ever. The more we can support, the more we are supported. A win for one of us will help us all.
Is this last piece challenging for you?
Do you want to support the success of others but get lost in the thickets of envy and jealousy?
Yeah, me too. This is why next week’s installment of From Guilt to Greatness will tackle collaboration and competition. It’ll touch on a few shadowy parts of the feminine power and help us all authentically support each other and foster more generosity.
I’m curious how this conversation is resonating. Does it make sense? Do you feel it? Where do you disagree with me? I’m so interested in hearing your thoughts, ideas and questions.
As for me, I am feeling the power of my own ability to create, as well as my nerves about what you might think of these ideas, and the choice I make to keep sharing anyway.
Standing up for the power of the balanced heart is the only thing that makes sense these days.