Why You Are Still Stuck on Your Path to LOVE

Thank you all for your supportive responses after last week’s big announcement that I am growing Self Care with Gracy into the next stage of fruition!

As with all my big dreams, there are a lot of unknowns.  My mind tells me it could all flop and I will be left to lick my wounds. Luckily, self care helps me to soothe the frazzled, frayed parts of my psyche. Knowing how to care for myself in hard moments eases my fears of the enevitable ups and downs ahead.

Or it could be great! My work could grow and help more people to connect to themselves through self care. This will mean really putting myself out there and pushing my comfort zone in new ways. Luckily, self care helps me to stay balanced enough so that I keep showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable or when the joy gets intense.

Whether I win or I lose, self care is there for me. I’m there for me. I can be my own best caregiver no matter what successes or failures will come in this process of change.

I am also sure that it’s worth taking a risk. This self care work is magical!  Last weekend, twenty three amazing women gathered for a weekend retreat in West Virginia. They were the graduates of the spring session of Self Care 101 and a few awesome members of my continuity program.

Our goals were simple: to relax, to connect and to celebrate our work on ourselves.

We looked different from each other and perhaps wouldn’t have thought to become friends if we passed on the street. Yet as we shared deeply with each other, we learned that the most important parts of us are the same.

We are strong, driven women who know there is more to life than simply checking our career goals off a list. We have a hunger inside of us to experience a richer connection to ourselves and others. There is a power to our spirits that we are just starting to sense. The power feels stronger when we can share it with each other.

Also, we want love. We want as much love as possible from our partners and our families and our communities. More than that, we want to love ourselves. We want to be our own friends and trust that inner voice within. We sense that we’ve been given an amazing opportunity to be alive, yet know we aren’t fully appreciating this gift.

In our pursuit of love, we are also hitting the same road blocks.

The first one is our tendency to disconnect from our hearts. We’ve spent a lot of time living two feet above our bodies, steeped in anxiety and desperately clinging to a sense of control.

Because this is a very uncomfortable way to live, our solution has been to numb ourselves. We drink our nightly glass of wine or go back again to that addictive relationship or tamp our feelings down with emotional eating. This numbing is cutting us off from our life-force energy and making us feel separate from the love we crave so much.

I think a lot of us know we are numbing.  We’ve been in therapy trying to fix our mind and open our hearts. We are trying to live better.

Yet we keep getting stuck. I know I’ve felt trapped in my anxious head for years and couldn’t find the passageway out into the fresh air of love and gratitude.

Still, I’m learning that it’s not so easy to move from disconnection directly into love.  There is essential step we are all missing.

I am beginning to understand what that is, for me at least.  I believe that if I want to move from numbing into love, I need to pass through what I've spent so long repressing.

To really connect to the love in my own heart, I need to confront my hidden anger, release my sexual shame and revive my buried drive to be powerful.

Big stuff right? I think dealing with these tough emotions is essential to our growth and there is no way around it. I also believe we can confront these emotions much easier as a community than we can on our own.

So next week I will begin a month-long discussion series called “Liberate Your Love: The Path to Setting Better Boundaries, Understanding Your Anger and Living a Life of Authentic Self-Care.”

Each week through my Wednesday newsletter, I will send you a few wildly important tools and concepts that link together the framework of Ayurveda with our common roadblocks to love.

I’m going to put a lot of concepts together in a way that I’m not sure has been done before. I’m going to talk about the doshas and feminism and amazing pop culture--such as my current heroes Beyoncé and Elena Ferrante.

I will offer clear steps to confront and befriend the fiery energies within us.  We will use that powerful energy to launch out of our anxieties into the fresh clean air of love.  It’ll take a month and hopefully last a lifetime.

As my clients have taught me, we can’t walk this path alone.  Because of this, I will open up the Beautiful Life Self Care Facebook page so that we can discuss what arises for us as we heal. I’ll post discussion questions each week so we can learn from each other.

At the end, I will offer a free “Liberate Your Love” webinar where I’ll answer your questions and share a very special free gift that comes straight from my heart.

Can you tell I’m excited? I hope you are too. Please have your friends sign up for my newsletter if they want to share in the journey with you. The more of us that engage, the more power we can build and the bigger the collective breakthrough.

Again, maybe this month will tank. If so, at least I will have tried to articulate something that feels important to me. If so, then I will go to bed early and buy some fresh flowers to celebrate my courage.

Or perhaps it will be brilliant. If so, then I will share it widely and eventually move onto the next big change. If so, then I’ll will still go to bed early and buy myself fresh flowers to celebrate my courage.

The moral of the story is that life is challenging and change is scary. The only thing that truly feels win-win to me is self-care and the support of a community. Both contribute greatly to my sense of safety in the world. Both are very simple and completely essential. Both are accessible to me in this very moment, if I choose to look for them.