Becoming a mom is teaching me a lot about staying present. Jonah is so full of life with emotions that change from moment to moment. I feel so connected to him and treasure our time together.
And yet, I also want to look at my phone all the time. Get this: sometimes I want to take a pause from our in-person interaction so I can look at photos of him. Kinda crazy right?
I think of this as a cultural affliction rather than a personal problem. We haven't been taught how to deal with the intimacy of the present moment, even though I think we are all craving it so much.
This affects all our relationships, particularly with ourselves. It's the most basic and often the hardest layer of self-care - just being with what is without trying to change it.
For me, staying present is a practice. I feel how much I want to be there with Jonah AND how much I want to look at my phone. I breathe and giggle at the situation.
Sometimes I look at my phone still and try to relish the escapism.
Other times I put my phone down and gaze deeper into my babe's eyes. He's looking back at me. He sees me. He's teaching me so much about myself.