My Realization

Finally we are settling in! Poncho and Dinah (my partner's cat) aren't exactly best friends but there are far fewer conflicts. We have more rooms put together than not in our new home and we are being patient with ourselves as we take our time with the others.  Yes, patience is everything right now. Since I am a naturally fiery person, it doesn't take much to set off my reactions. From my fear brain, the cat and dog will fight forever or a tense moment with Micah means we will break up.  This is old thinking that wants to keep me safe. However, if I don't watch it it will start to take over and make rash decisions for me. The truth is, as I'm living it day-by-day, that situations are rarely ever all good or bad. Everything is steeped in nuance and either I embrace this shaky, unknown reality or I suffer endlessly.  Being pregnant absolutely demands that I calm down and wait for life to move me. This is teaching me so much. My fear was always that if I stopped for a moment I would miss out on everything. Yet rather than get stuck, I feel like I am growing more than ever.  I'm learning to trust it all and watch it change naturally, all so very slowly and surely. It's hard and it's amazing. It's totally life on life's terms.

Finally we are settling in! Poncho and Dinah (my partner's cat) aren't exactly best friends but there are far fewer conflicts. We have more rooms put together than not in our new home and we are being patient with ourselves as we take our time with the others. 

Yes, patience is everything right now. Since I am a naturally fiery person, it doesn't take much to set off my reactions. From my fear brain, the cat and dog will fight forever or a tense moment with Micah means we will break up. 

This is old thinking that wants to keep me safe. However, if I don't watch it it will start to take over and make rash decisions for me. The truth is, as I'm living it day-by-day, that situations are rarely ever all good or bad. Everything is steeped in nuance and either I embrace this shaky, unknown reality or I suffer endlessly. 

Being pregnant absolutely demands that I calm down and wait for life to move me. This is teaching me so much. My fear was always that if I stopped for a moment I would miss out on everything. Yet rather than get stuck, I feel like I am growing more than ever. 

I'm learning to trust it all and watch it change naturally, all so very slowly and surely. It's hard and it's amazing. It's totally life on life's terms.