DMV Story, Part 1 - Unconditional Love

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Oh I have a story that involves unconditional love and the DMV! On Tuesday and Wednesday I saw Amma, a yogi who travels the world to hug people. It's always an incredible experience to feel the love and wisdom of her presence (more on this in the blog post I wrote -- link in the comments below). 

Then yesterday, I had to go to the DMV before seeing the midwives. It was late before they called my number and when I went to the window, a man jumped in line in front of me. He had missed hearing his number and the clerk told me I would have to wait until he was done. They started calling the numbers after mine and when I asked to see another person, the clerk said she couldn't put my number back in the mix. I would just have to wait. 

I realized I would miss my midwives appointment if I waited another 30 minutes and told the man. Without going into details, he was really rude and I left the DMV in tears. The clerk hadn't said anything while it happened. I felt so defenseless and like I had been exposed to the worst of humanity within 24 hours of feeling the best of humanity. 

All the goodness from my time with Amma seemed to evaporate from my heart as I began to think genuinely hateful thoughts about this man. I went into complete victim mode, which is always a very violent energy to carry in my body. 

I realized that more than cringing at this part of humanity, I was reacting to the hate in my own heart and how I have no idea how to metabolize it. I was feeling pretty spiritually enlightened when I left Amma. Now I feel like a real human being who has a lot of work to do on the whole "turning the other cheek" concept. 

I'd rather have this than spiritually bypass the whole thing (my old pattern). My work now is to expand the definition of love to include that man. I'm completely not there yet but I know this is my task. I sense love is strong enough to hold me in the process, as I open to an even bigger definition of acceptance and am infinitely humbled in the process of growth.