How to Stop "Fixing" People (And Finally Start Being Happy), Part I

Hello again!

As the summer gets hotter, and I become more pregnant, I have less energy to write up my normal Wednesday blog posts.  Rather than struggle through, it dawned on me that I could still easily record a video.  

Also, lately I've wanted to share more on what I've learned about practicing self-care in relationships.  Over the past two years, I've done A LOT of personal work on cultivating healthy relationships.  It's been pretty gnarly at times but throughout it all, I've known how much I've need to dig into the hard stuff and kept at it. 

The good news is that it's worked!  I'm in a romantic relationship that deeply fulfills me, and I still feel like myself in the process.  (This wasn't always the case -- I felt like I had to sacrifice one (the fulfilling relationship) or the other (my feeling of autonomy).  

I'm also about to become a mother and finally feel like I can do a decently ok job at imperfect, whole-hearted mothering.  Writing that down feels like a big thing...and it is!

From these two ideas - making Wednesday videos and sharing on healthy relationships - a new video series was born.  I'm calling it "How to Stop 'Fixing' People (And Finally Start Being Happy)."

It's for those of us who...
-are terrified of disappointing other people
-have a hard time feeling like ourselves in relationships
-are too hard on ourselves or too hard on others
-never date people that we really like or respect
-think we will be happy once someone else finally changes ______ (fill in the blank)
-secretly think we are fatally flawed and thus will always be alone

This first video is about four minutes long and addresses the flawed premise that makes us think we have to sacrifice ourselves for other's happiness.  It might feel stupidly simple but unlearning that premise has set me free.  I hope it helps liberate you as well!

Keep checking in over the new few Wednesdays for more in the series.  Until I give birth, I'll continue sharing more relationships insights, real-life experiences and shots of my growing baby belly.  

Until then, I wish you a bounty of self-care, both while you are alone and around others.  You deserve it, through and through.