My Little Family

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I'm so excited to introduce you all to Jonah Aleksander! He was born very early Saturday morning, weighing in at just under 8 lbs.

His birth shocked us all. After spending most of Friday in pre-labor, the midwife came over in the evening (a great benefit of doing a home birth). She checked me and declared that with his current positioning, it was still going to be much longer. The best thing I could do was sleep so I would have energy for the next day of labor. She prescribed a sleeping pill and told us to call her in the morning, or sooner if anything changed.

Then our amazing doula Lindsey came by. She led us through a few gentle exercises (that still felt so hard with contractions) to change the baby's positioning. When I was in the last restorative one, Micah fed me the sleeping pill and I was down for the count.

A little before 1am I woke up in a haze with intense contractions. I tried to breathe through them on my own but they were more than I could handle. I finally woke up Micah and told him I needed help. He, in his usual amazing fashion, drew me a bath so I could labor in the tub.

As I got in, I knew something was about to happen. I felt an uncontrollable urge to push and told Micah. While he called the midwife to come, I reached down and touched the baby’s head.

Then I knew this was happening. It was beyond me, so totally primal. Before I could hesitate I started pushing him out - two powerful pushes. As he emerged, Micah reached out and caught him. It was wild but also fluid. We had no idea what we were doing but we were doing it.

And it worked! After a few seconds Jonah started hollering. He was breathing! Micah put him on my chest while he got blankets and called the midwife.

We had our beautiful baby boy. He was breathing and cooing in my arms. My heart cracked open wider than ever.

When our birth team showed up 15 minutes later, we were already bonding as a family. He and I were both declared totally healthy. I felt the immense relief of everything coming to such a safe, happy conclusion.

From the moment of learning I was pregnant, my life has felt like a wild, wonderful ride. Although I was smitten with Micah before, we really fell in love after learning we were pregnant.

Of course this path wasn't linear. I had spent so much of my life wondering, questioning and doubting if I was making the right moves. There were moments I felt so lost.

And then suddenly it all fell into place. Before I knew it, I had a partner, a new house, and a family of my own. I'm not saying this is the only path to happiness - indeed I think a happy destination is all about walking a happy path - but as it developed, all of it felt so right to me.

So it makes sense that Jonah's birth would happen the way that it did. There was an awkward waiting period and the false start of pre-labor. We thought he was in the wrong position and felt demoralized. But as we rested into the night, everything fell into place. He shot out before we could even get organized. It was unplanned and exactly right.

It's hard not to draw a hundred metaphors for the birthing process because it is so rich in content. Today one feels really important, especially as it pertains to our self-care process.

The most important thing we can do is finding our alignment. Whether it's personal or collective, alignment is what happens when we let go of the question enough to allow the answer to come forth. With alignment, everything works. Without it, we struggle and struggle to feel like ourselves.

To me, self-care is about finding that alignment. It's learning about who we are and creating our lives to reflect that truth. It will look different for each of us. Our lives will be the proof that it's working.

So welcome Jonah! Micah and I are so very, very in love with him. He has the sweetest little spirit and eyes that feel full of wisdom. He has already taught us so much and we look forward to everything that will come.

Thank you all for your support. It means a lot and we'll continue to need it. I hope we can give it right back for whatever wonders you are birthing in life theses days. 

Big blessings from here and more updates soon!