Living Forward

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These guys! I think they’re both just so great. 

I was reflecting with some friends yesterday that just before Christmas last year (when I was pregnant with Jonah and didn’t yet know), I was touching bottom. My family had dispersed to other celebrations and I was facing the holiday alone for the first time. I wondered how I could feel so solitary at 35 years old and was sitting quite ungracefully in all my abandonment issues. 

Fast forward to this year’s Christmas dinner - we had so many people around our table that I feared we’d run out of space. 

How can so much change in one year? Why does it get so dark right before everything blooms open again? Why can’t I seem to remember this truth when I’m going through the hard moments? 

I share this because so many of us are in a collective dark moment right now. January is full of grey fog, long nights, and lowered resiliency. It can feel so harsh and absolute. We doubt ourselves and begin to lose hope. And then suddenly, spring comes and it’s hard to recall dark times. 

There’s a saying in recovery - “Don’t quit before the miracle.” - that can help us navigate the void of these deep transitions. 

We need to just keep going, just keep practicing tiny bits of warming self-care, just keep our hearts a crack open. Self-care will look different right now. Our best efforts are enough. 

We - all we’ve been and all we are just about to become - are absolutely enough.