Wednesday Missive: Q&A with Sexy Self-Care Diva Reba Thomas

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Hello all,

I hope you’re doing ok on this post-election day in the United States. Personally, I’m feeling yesterday’s losses, especially in Florida and Texas (and holding my breath about Georgia’s gubernatorial race).

To me, these losses are a signal that we still have a lot of work to do in breaking down white supremacy in the United States and beyond. As a white person who benefits from this supremacy, I am responsible for breaking down this toxic system. I am more committed than ever to this work because I believe creating equity in our world is the ultimate form of self-care.

However, I’m also heartened by the many groundbreaking victories, including Amendment Four passing in Florida. 1.4 million people have been reenfranchised! Yay! Self-care is celebrating the victories as well as mourning the losses.

However you’re feeling, I invite you to take a pause. Our nervous systems have been through a lot during the build up to these elections. There have been so many ads, texts, phone calls! We need a few days to rest, regroup and recalibrate. From there, we can make a plan for moving forward in our work to create self-care for all people.

(Don’t live in the US? I’m curious how these self-care ideas resonate in your country’s political system. Please let me know!)

Want more regrouping inspiration? Learn how to practice self-care after a setback. Also, check out today’s Self-Care Q&A (now an ongoing monthly feature in my Wednesday missives) with Sexy Self-Care Diva Reba Thomas.

Reba has taught me the importance of practicing pleasure and I know she will inspire your sexy self-care too!

Also, make sure to sign up for Reba’s upcoming Sensual Self Care 101 class!

From Reba

1. Why do you think focusing on your self-care is important? 

Self-care is the ultimate act of self-love and, for me, it's the first step in showing myself more compassion. My self-care routine is what keeps me grounded and helps me cope with my anxiety. Without an intentional, regular focus on my self-care, I can be a hot, boiling mess!

2. Who has been a self-care role model for you and why?

My self-care role model has been my mom. She learned the value of self-care later in life and it seems like it really stuck for her. She's always holding me accountable when I neglect myself and leading by example. 

3. What self-care do you practice in the morning? Are there other self-care routines you use during your day?

Every morning I massage my feet with my favorite (read: entirely too expensive) lotion and slip on a pair of soft socks before I put on my slippers. This helps me feel firm and grounded before I start my day. I also have a cup of tea before I journal or plan out the rest of the day. Because I have kids, this is really the only time I have to myself and these are the only two rituals that I do regularly just for me and no one else.

3. What self-care helps your inner (mental/emotional/spiritual) well-being?

Journaling is so cathartic for me. Having a blank space to unleash and hash out my thoughts and emotions is critical to my inner well-being.

4. When you're having a really bad day, what is your go-to self-care?

I love a good oil massage and a bath. I put on my favorite jazz tunes, run a hot bath and while the tub is filling, I massage myself from head to toe with sesame oil scented with a few drops of lavender.

5. How do you use self-care to stay buoyant during these challenging political times?

Getting out the thoughts and feelings that come up for me through my journal has been key to helping me find ways to process and deal with the challenging emotions that I'm experiencing. Having my thoughts together also helps me articulate myself more clearly in conversations.

I also find it SUPER helpful to pay close attention to my body. When I start to feel anxious or stressed, I slow down, take a step back and check in with myself. Am I ok? And allowing the answer to sometimes be “no.”

6. Are there any new self-care offerings you'd like to share with us?  

Yes! I just launched my Sensual Self-Care 101 class. More info is here!


Reba Thomas is a sexuality educator, entertainer and full-time entrepreneur. In 2015 she founded Sexpert Consultants LLC, a company that is bridging the sexual health education gap through live events and online courses that teach adults about basic human sexual anatomy and sexual response cycles, promote sexual health and wellness, and improve communication around sexual desires and concerns.


Until next week!