Wednesday Missive: Self-Care and Making Decisions (aka how to get yourself out of choice paralysis)


Hello Dear!

Was it really just a week ago that we had a snow day in DC?  Today, we are supposed to get up to 60 degrees as spring peeks around the corner.  Things really do change so quickly around here. 

In the spirit of changing season, I'm celebrating finally making some big decisions.  For weeks now, I've been seemingly locked into a sinkhole of indecision regarding the direction of this self-care work.  I knew I wanted to keep spreading this incredible self-care gospel, I just didn't know how that would look as I grew into motherhood.

After a bit of focused self-care, I saw the vision for the future.  It was bright, it was clear, and it scared the sh*t out of me because it meant a lot of change.  

Despite this clarity, I still didn't how to transition from my old business model into this new level of work/life/self-care.  I had so many decisions that I needed to make, but I couldn't get in a clear frame of mind.  The more I tried to figure it out, the more I felt stuck.  (Again that sinkhole feeling, ugh.)

I would make a decision - usually while washing my hair in the shower - and feel energized.  Then, two hours later, I'd start doubting myself and feel mucky again.  I was spinning in circles and getting upset with myself for wasting so much precious mental energy.  

Then, finally, I knew what I needed to do.  I created a plan and am putting it into action every day.  My mental energies are restored, or at least well enough to plan a menu for Easter dinner. 

(Keep reading to know what I decided!)

Are you curious how I broke through?  Do you want to know the magic form of self-care that helped me stop spinning?  

Warning, the answer isn't too glamorous.  What helped me most was patience.  Like one of my clients says, things take the time they take.  I needed to ponder and spin my wheels.  Mentally, I needed to try a lot of options on for size and return the ones that didn't fit well.  I think I even needed to get a little frustrated with myself, so I could, once again, metabolize my inner critic into a softer, gentler guiding voice. 

Mostly, I just needed to respect the process of things.  That may sound simple, but in our results-oriented culture, letting things run their own course can be a revolutionary act.  It means letting go of control and opening ourselves up to inspiration.  It's the stuff magic is made of (although I don't think we talk openly enough about how frustrating waiting for magic can be to our monkey minds ;).

So, my self-care advice for choice paralysis is to let your mind spin itself around in circles as you throw ideas on the bed in a big rumbled heap.  Through the mess, listen to your inner voice. See if you can shift it to a kinder tone.  In that kind tone, tell yourself that things take the time they take.  Wait until the clarity comes, and know that may take a good long while. 

As promised, here are the decisions I've made:

- Starting this fall, I am transforming our powerful self-care work into a month-to-month membership program where you can be part of a community that is practicing authentic self-care.  Together, we'll learn essential practices such as setting boundaries, creating nourishing routines and learning the self-care that creates real change in your life.  You can join when you need more support and check out when you need more space. I'm so excited and will share more information soon!

- Thus, this spring I am running the last-ever Self Care 101 program (and pushing the date back two weeks)I LOVE this personalized, intimate self-care work.  It's deeply transformational (The over 200 women who've gone through the program and changed their lives in amazing ways are a testament to that.), but I also know it's time for a change. This is going to be a powerful last session - I can feel it.  I am looking for women who want to get unstuck while creating a life of self-care.  Could that be you?  We start on April 28th.  Apply here. 

- Finally, over Memorial Day weekend, I am leading a very special Yoga + Self-Care retreat in Charles Town, West Virginia (just 1.5 hours from DC).  This will be my first local, public retreat in over three years!  And I think it will be my last for a while too.  Do you want to spend a weekend doing grounding yoga, eating delicious food and meeting some wonderful people?  I thought so!  (Early bird pricing is in effect until May 1st).  


Whew, that was a lot, right?  I hope you can be part of this transition!  Within all the mess of these past weeks, a lot of beautiful seeds were planted.  Now, we get to engage in the fun part: watching them blossom upward.  

Let's pour some lemonade and sit out in the lingering dusk.  Let's ooh and ahh at the process of growth.  Let's remember it always takes a fair bit of struggle in order to revel in this kind of authentic beauty.

With care,


Self-Care Inspiration

This TED Talk on the difference between being "color-blind" and "color-brave" is a must-see for all of us.  We are using it as inspiration for a conversation series we are having in our Self Care 101 alumni community around self-care and racism.  (Expect more on this someday soon.)

Bea Johnson, the mother of the Zero Waste movement, is coming to DC on April 17th.  Her book, Zero Waste Home, is really inspirational.  The Zero Waste lifestyle can be really hard in our current culture, but it's also really needed.  Bea is showing us the way.

I've been enjoying the very beautiful Fountain tarot deck.  Doing a little reading a day helps me stay steady in the midst of change!  

And, of course, the new Queer Eye is such a tender, fun show.  Yay for men's self-care!