Isn't this comic great? I love it because it's true, and its message has never felt truer than right now.
At the end of last week, I was in a tizzy about meeting GDRP requirements (thank you to everyone who shared their wisdom!). Then I went away on retreat and spent the weekend guiding a really terrific group into deeper states of growth and self-awareness. It was self-care at its finest.
The retreat gave me space to take a good long look into myself. I saw how hard I'd been pushing myself to create the membership program I wanted to launch in the fall. Further, I saw how tired I was from trying to balance motherhood, business, relationships and my own self-care.
Finally, I saw how all this pushing from a depleted place was backing me further into a corner of "I don't know." Instead of feeling fresh and exciting, this "I don't know" felt scary and limited. The more I struggled to get out of it, the more trapped I felt.
I realized I need a break. Especially with our big move coming up, I need to focus on myself, my family, and to mindfully finish out my current programs. Once we are settled, I need space to see the bigger vision for the next phase of self-care work. My sense is that it's going to be really, really good. But to get there, I must let go of it for a while. In the release, I know I can really find it again.
It's scary to let go because, like so many of us, I have an addiction to productivity. I gather my self-worth from how much I work and what I accomplish. Yet, my life is whispering to me that it's really time to find a new way. Finally, I'm giving myself permission to listen.
With that, I'll be taking a pause from these weekly missives. I wish I could say for how long, but all I can offer is the wise phrase: "things take the time they take."
When I return, I will be organized around GDRP and very excited to share my new vision for where this work can go for us all. I can already feel it on some love and it feels great!
In the meantime, I'll be posting on Facebook and Instagram now and then, and may release a podcast when I am inspired. For extra self-care, you can always check out my friend Lauren's weekly email on seasonal health and my friend Max's weekly email on dignified eating.
Over time, I've learned I cannot create anything generative from a place of depletion. The best way to bring forth beauty is to relax, trust and let the waves of support push me forward.
Stepping back and surrendering takes big faith. This faith isn't something I have found on my own. Rather, I gather it from the strength my community and the bigness of the world.
If this message of surrender resonates with you, lean in deeper to those communities and that bigness. Receive their affirmations of your value and power, and feel their need for you to step forward in your life.
Mostly, please give yourself time and space to create. Things of beauty cannot be rushed. I know that is true for you, and, finally, I know it's also true for me.
Thank you for reading and for your patience with me as I tap out. It means everything.