Wednesday Missive: What's Sexy About Self-Care?

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Hello Dears,

I hope you’ve had a great couple of weeks! You may have noticed that I didn’t show up in your inbox last Wednesday. This is because I’m shifting to an every-other-Wednesday email routine. This change may be temporary or it may last for a good long while. I appreciate your patience as I change up our rhythm!

With that, I have a quick announcement to make. On Friday, March 8th, from 3 to 4pm ET, I’m leading a free call on the Self-Care of Early Motherhood. As Jonah is about to turn 18 months, I’m finally ready to talk more formally about the ways I’ve navigated my self-care during early motherhood. I’m so excited to share the self-care that sustained me through this tender, transformational time and help us all do our best to support new mothers!

Interested in joining the call? Please sign up here.

With that, I’m focusing today on the self-care of feeling sexy in oneself. This topic has been brewing for a while in my mind, but came into sharper focus last week when a reporter for Oprah Magazine emailed me to ask if I would be a source in an article she was writing on self-care.

I wrote her back immediately and said of course. I mean, it’s Oprah! She replied with a few question prompts and mentioned that her article was on masturbation as a form of self-care.

Reading this, I sat back. My excitement shifted to a slight tinge of discomfort. It’s not that I don’t believe in masturbation as a form of self-care (it’s a go-to energizing self-care practice for me), it’s more that I didn’t see myself as someone who could hold any kind of authority when it comes to talking about sex.

Despite enjoying sex, I still have a hard time seeing myself as a sexual being. Sexual beings lounge around in silk underwear or have drawers full of kinky toys. As a feminine-leaning hetero, cisgender white woman, I feel pretty vanilla when it comes to most things, including sex. I buy packs of cotton underwear because I’ve heard it’s better for vaginal health. I own exactly one vibrator. I dig monogamy. I don’t really enjoy watching porn.

I want to stress that I don’t do these things because I think there is anything wrong with them. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite. Role-playing and polyamory seem like glamorous forms of sexual self-care when other people tell me about them. But the truth is that they just aren’t me.

During this moment of sexual exploration and the expansion of our sexual norms, it’s hard for me not to feel repressed and/or boring. And yet, the same way someone can’t turn off their authentic sexual attractions, I can’t change the fact that my inclinations pretty match up with the prescribed norms.

It’s important to recognize that my culturally-approved sexual identity affords me a lot of privileges in society. I try to stay aware of this power and use it to create social change.

(With this, have you added your pronouns to your email signature yet? This is a simple way to help all non-cisgender people normalize their sharing of their preferred pronouns. It’s super easy. Do it today! Example: Gracy Obuchowicz, preferred pronouns: she/her/hers.)

So, yeah. That’s me. I’m pretty vanilla, and this blandness was why I was shrinking back not just from the reporter’s questions, but from feeling like I have any authority to talk or teach about sexual self-care in general.

Still conflicted, I decided to answer the Oprah reporter’s questions, as well as put her in touch with another client of mine (the amazing Reba the Diva) who does wonderful sex education work. I figured after the reporter read my answers, she just wouldn’t include anything I said.  

But I was wrong! This weekend, a friend sent me the full article which is pretty amazing and has my endorsement for masturbation as a form of self-care. Check it out here.

The next day, I brought all this up with my amazing therapist and she asked me to consider that perhaps I am a sexual authority. She prompted me to explore how my vanilla-sex-enjoying, cotton-underwear-wearing self could be its own kind of powerful sexual being. Then, we discussed how others out there might relate to feeling pretty boring and yet still authentic when it comes to sex these days.

I left our session wanting to say more, especially as we approached Valentine’s Day, with its outward focus on giving and receiving love. I always want to make sure we’re including self-love in the conversation, as self-love feels like both the path to and a final goal of a self-care practice.

This year, I’m realizing that I don’t think I can practice authentic self-love if I’m not working to accept who I am sexually. Our sexuality is an extremely personal and vulnerable layer of our sense of selves. If we’re holding back because we think something is wrong with our inclinations or that we have to be like someone else to be considered “sexy,” I don’t think we are practicing authentic self-love.

So today, with as much sexual authority as I can muster, I’m here to say:

You’re sexy if you’re into whips and chains.
You’re sexy if you like the missionary position.
You’re sexy if you have a husband and a girlfriend.
You’re sexy if you’ve been sleeping with one other person for decades.
You’re sexy if you love being single.
You’re sexy if you’re frustrated about being single.
You’re sexy when you masturbate alone.
You’re sexy when you masturbate with others.
You’re sexy when you ask for more intimacy.
You’re sexy when you recognize that you don’t enjoy physical touch.
You’re sexy if you don’t know what you want and just feel confused about sex.
You’re sexy when you let your inclinations change with experience and time (as mine might!).

As long as your sexual inclinations are not hurting or exploiting another person without their consent, they’re pretty alright in my book.

Taking it further, how might embracing ourselves as sexy, exactly as we are, help us save our world? Well, if we can’t embrace our sexual realities and authentic desires as sexy, then we are probably operating from a framework of sexual shame.

At it’s best, this kind of chronic shame will make us shy away from meaningful intimacy and the chance to be accepted for our authentic selves. At worst, we will judge others for their sexual choices or perhaps event resort to violence as a way to diffuse the poisonous energy of shame. The man who murdered two women at the Tallahassee yoga studio was part of an online community of men that blame women for not having sex with them.

When we feel good about ourselves sexually, chances are that we’re feeling good about almost every other aspect of our being. Getting the support we need to understand and accept our sexuality is a supremely good investment, not just for our own self-care but for that of our world.

So my dear ones, this is your assignment: Take a sexual inventory of how you most authentically show up sexually in your life. Breathe as you do this. Then, see if you can slap a big glittery sticker that says “Sexy as Hell” on top of whatever you find. If you can’t slap that sticker on, consider getting compassionate professional support until you can. After, take all this sexy self-acceptance into world. Spread your own self-love as kindness wherever you go and see how much others need this balm.

With that, all you sexy beasts, have an an amazing Valentine’s Day! Be yourself, love yourself, and share all that beauty with our world!

With care,
Gracy

The Beautiful Life Collective - a self-care community of amazing women

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The Beautiful Life Collective

A Cooperative of Women Leaders Caring for Themselves So They Can Care for The World
 

What Is The Collective?

A self-care community providing inspiration, accountability, resources, and the opportunity to invest in your most important asset: your ability to care for yourself, other people and the world as a whole.

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”  - E.B. White

 

The Beautiful Life Collective is For You if…

  • You sense that only through self-care can you be the change you wish to see in the world.

  • You feel compelled to change the status quo, but need more support and inspiration when it comes to taking action.

  • You know that caring for yourself without caring for the world and examining power and privilege is incomplete.

  • You value learning within a community and would like to tap into more meaningful conversation.

  • You know that in order to feel successful, you have to surround yourself with other amazing women who are taking risks in their lives while upleveling their self-care.

  • You want to show up as the gracious, effective manager/parent/leader that you know you truly are (but need adequate support to become).

In The Beautiful Life Collective, we see serving others as an essential form of self-care and understand that the only way to show up for others consistently is to show up for our self-care. Authentically caring for ourselves, working compassionately with our fears, and being part of a supportive community is the recipe to equip us to create change we know is possible in our lives and in broader cultural issues.  

I advocate that every woman be a part of a circle … a group of people, women - smart, wise, can-do women - who are in the world doing their work, and you need to meet with them as often as you can, so that they can see what you’re doing, and who you are, and you can see the same. …. It is crucial for our psychological health and our spiritual growth – it’s essential.  - Alice Walker

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Are You Ready to Learn the Self-Care that Truly Works?  

Click the link below to hear the many ways joining the Beautiful Life Collective will make your life feel both more filled with ease and richer with purpose.

Join a community that cheers you on while offering you the invaluable feedback that helps you grow.

Learn the authentic self-care that will not only transform your life, but will give you the real leadership skills to help those around you.

Tap into the self-care that will change our world.

Get ready for a whole new kind of self-care…

Note: The Beautiful Life Collective is currently closed until later in 2019. If you want to be the firs to know when it opens next (and receive a nice sign-up) discount, join our VIP waitlist.

How Hard Can It Be?

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I feel like I haven’t written directly about motherhood for a while now. That’s probably because I’m in this phase that’s intense in a way that’s hard to even talk about.

Jonah’s almost 17 months old and is most definitely not a baby anymore. He walks on his own, quite well, and has slept through the night for almost seven months (praise be!). He know animals sounds and can point to his nose and his ears. He gives hugs and has a really well developed sense of humor (with a preference for physical comedy).

He also needs a lot from me! He wants to be lifted up high to see what I’m cooking and helped down from every last piece of furniture he climbs up. He falls, and then cries, so many times a day. He eats two bites of the food I make and then throws the rest on floor and then will only eat cheddar bunnies (please tell me this is just a phase?). He’s adorable and he’s consuming.

I’m hanging in there, but I also feel like I’m stretched to maximum capacity most of the time. Especially in the cold weather, there are days I don’t leave the house because I’m taking care of Jonah or, while he’s in daycare, catching up on work. I have a strong urge to hunker down and hibernate and instead I spend most of my days doing the opposite.

Mothering is intensely intimate and also really isolating. It’s the biggest teacher I’ve had yet.

I hope this doesn’t come off as complaining, because I feel so much appreciation for what I have. I guess I just wish our culture were more family-friendly. I wish we worked less and played more. I wish we could be more connected to nature, especially us city folks.

And I have a much greater appreciation for what every mother has had to do to bring a child up in the world. You all have my intense admiration. I wish you all were leading our world.

Five Self-Care Shifts to Save Our World - Free Training

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Five Self-Care Shifts to Save Our World

Five-Day Free Training

Reimagine Your Self-Care. Take It Beyond the Self.

Do you watch the news and wish you could do more to help the incredibly hard situations in our world?

Would you like to have more challenging conversations around social change but fear messing them up?

Do you know you have something important to say but need support in finding your voice to say it?

Are you ready to step forward?

Are you ready to express what feels true inside of you?

Are you ready to be part of the solution?

Click here to learn more and sign up for the free training! (And please share with others who might also be ready to make a self-care shift!)

Let’s revolutionize your self-care!

How I Wrote My Latest Book, a Conversation with Maria Habib and Erin Segal (aka the "Selfcarefully" Team)

In this episode, I interview designer + illustrator Maria Habib and Erin Segal, creator of Thick Press. Together we make up the team that is creating my upcoming book "Selfcarefully." 

Listen to our conversation to learn how I wrote my book over a series of short train rides, the ways we incorporated self-care into our planning process and our ideas on publishing a book in a revolutionary way. 

Also, get ready to order your copy of "Selfcarefully," which will be available this spring! 

Wednesday Missive: Why it's Ok To Screw Up Your New Year's Resolutions

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Hello Dear Ones,

At the beginning of every new year, I like to pick a word of intention to guide the 12 months ahead.In the past, I’ve chosen words like “love”, “community” and “celebration.”  By focusing on the words, I hope to bring more of these qualities into my life.

However, what usually happens is that by mid-January I feel like I am failing pretty badly at living out that word.  In 2015, I chose “celebration” as my yearly intention.  And oh lady, how I struggled with celebration that year!  I forgot people’s birthdays, whiffed on meaningful presents and underplayed my own milestones.  At the end of the year, I decided that I was just inept at celebration.

But now, three years later, I examine my life and realize that isn’t true. I’m not bad at celebration. Over the past years, I’ve celebrated many things quite beautifully and somewhat effortlessly: Micah’s and my first family Christmas together (our extended family joyously crammed around our too-small kitchen table), buying our first house (eating melty ice cream cones after settlement), and our one year-old’s birthday (a proper luau, complete with handmade leis).  Not only do I enjoy celebration, but I now think of it as an essential form of my self-care.

What I can see now is that at the beginning of the new year, I can’t automatically flip a switch and expect to see change.  Rather, I must spend that year struggling through the hard parts of growth.  I must see where I fall short of living up to my ideals and work patiently to grow in these areas.  I must accept the parts of me that aren’t ready to change. I must ask for and receive support.

Showing up for my own development, even when I can't immediately see results, is quite unglamorous and very humbling.  However, it really does work.  Over time, I’ve changed a lot in my life, although both the process and the results are always more subtle, yet also more meaningful, than I could have previously imagined.

This yearly experience - and learning my own funny, yet effective process of personal growth - has further reinforced the danger of seeing my life through a lens of self-improvement.  Self-improvement, while seeming beneficial, is the idea that I can use my own self-determination to make all the “bad” parts of myself go away.  Self-improvement teaches that if I put my mind to it, I should be able to just fix myself. It urges that I can figure out a way to endlessly excel at life. And if I can’t seem to improve my life right away, it’s because something is wrong with me.

To me, self-improvement is just more perfectionism.  Any mistakes (which are just part of being human, remember?), become proof that I must work even harder to shore up my vulnerabilities. Self-improvement and perfectionism leave me lonely, grasping and feeling like I’ll never catch up.  

Let’s take it bigger.Perfectionism is grounded in oppressive, exclusionary thinking.  This is the same thinking that, when expanded to a societal level, oppresses and exploits our most vulnerable communities.  Poverty is seen as a personal weakness (they should just work harder, right?), and racism is brushed under the rug (because we should already be over that by now, right?).  Because it’s based in delusion, perfectionism robs us of our authentic narrative and thus, any opportunity to mature as a compassionate society and world.

What I now realize is that if I’m still buying into the myth of self-improvement in my own life, and the dangerous perfectionism beneath it, then I am part of our societal problems instead of the solution.  If I can’t honor the strength of my own vulnerability, I will see it as weakness in others.  If I can’t let my own growth process be messy, then I will only criticize other’s attempts to create real change.  If can’t care for the hurting parts of myself, then I will deny support for the parts of our society that are hurting.

We are connected, not only to each other, but from the inside our ourselves to the outside of our world.  As the Buddhist phrase goes: How we do anything is how we do everything.True change does really start within, although it must be then carried out into a meaningful action.

Luckily, for all of us, self-care is different.  Self-care is an a perspective and practice, that when carried out authentically, reminds me that I’m inherently whole and, and despite have many imperfections, very worthy of care.  Self-care tells me that I am a work in progress and that personal growth, because of its inherently up and down nature, is going to be hard.

I've found that when practice authentic self-care, it naturally ripples out into meaningful change in our world. 

So, in 2019, let’s not bring self-improvement thinking into our self-care.  Let’s give ourselves space to mess up royally at whatever we resolve to do.  Let’s make mistakes and backslide. Let’s remind each other that these ups and downs are 100% part of the growth process.  

And then, let's take our self-care beyond the self as way to serve others. 

Are you ready to let go of self-improvement?  Is it time for you to practice more authentic self-care in this new year?  

If so, I have a new self-care training for you!

This January 21-25, 2019, I’m offering a FREE training called Five Self-Care Shifts to Save Our World.  Over five days, I’ll be sharing more of these simple, yet revolutionary personal shifts that will help you become part of the greater societal solution.  

Each day, right in your inbox, I’ll send you a short, yet potent self-care message. These concepts, which have helped hundreds of my clients, have taken me years to learn.  Understanding them will help you unlearn the self-improvement that doesn’t work while inspiring you to implement the authentic self-care that does.  

This training will give you a gentle, yet effective push to uplevel your self-care while dedicating yourself to positive change in your life and beyond.  It will connect you to others who are ready to embrace a much deeper definition of self-care.  Making these changes won’t be easy (real growth never is, remember?), but it will work and it will make your 2019, and all the years that follow, so much richer as a result.

Are you ready?  Let’s go!

Click here to learn more and sign up.  (And please share with others who might also be ready to make a self-care shift!)

Wishing you a week of abundant self-care (with little to no self-improvement)!

With care,
Gracy

PS - Would you prefer to learn a few of these concepts in-person? If so, please join me in February for my Cozy Self-Care Weekend Retreat in West Virginiaor on Sunday, January 20th for my "Communicating Your Self-Care Needs" workshop at The Lemon Collective in Washington, DC. 

Self-Care For Those With Tough Childhoods (Plus, The Last Chance to Preorder "Selfcarefully"!)

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Happy 2019 you all!

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and great start to this new year!

First things:

Come on a cozy self-care retreat with me this February in West Virginia and walk away with self-care that will last you the rest of your life! These weekends are so special and I’d love to share the experience with you.

I’m teaching a workshop on communicating your self-care needs (where many of us get stuck in our processes) at The Lemon Collective on January 20th. Hope you can join!

And now, today…

Big news! At the time of sending out this email, we have 18 hours left in our crowdfunding for my upcoming collaborative book “Selfcarefully. In just 30 days, we’ve come together to raise more than $5,000! By buying your copy, you’ve invested in much-needed vision of self-care, one that can help us grow into a more just and equitable society. Thank you, thank you for your support!

If you haven’t gotten your copy, please consider preordering! If you do, you’ll be invited to our virtual book unveiling where our team will discuss what it means to collaborate, what it means to work slowly and why we believe people still value something beautiful that they can hold in their hands. 

Today, I’m sharing the final free selection from “Selfcarefully” on why caring for yourself can also reparent yourself in important ways. In the essay, I discuss what to do if you didn’t have positive self-care role models growing up, and why practicing authentic self-care can have such a powerful effect on your self-esteem. I also touch on why self-care can bring up so many feelings! (Truly, it’s power goes very deep!)

Read the full Self-Care and Reparenting” essay here.

I hope the message from this essay is clear. Even if you had hard experiences before, you have the power to change the abusive or neglectful patterns that you learned. You have the power to take responsibility for your life and forgive those who couldn’t care for you before (even if that means intense boundaries or total detachment). You have the power to become a positive self-care role model for those around you.

Again, if you are moved by these messages from “Selfcarefully,” please donate to our campaign and get your own copy in your mailbox this spring!

Next week, I’ll be back with a few thoughts on New Year’s resolutions and why it’s ok to screw them up year after year.

Until then, please keep taking good care of yourself! You never know whose life you might change in the process.

With care,
Gracy

Self-Care for Those With Tough Childhoods (The Last Selection From My Upcoming Book "Selfcarefully")

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Hello Dearest,

In celebration of my upcoming book, Selfcarefully, I’m sharing five of my favorite sections throughout December into early January. (Read more about how I wrote this book on metro rides and with lots of support here.)

Today is the last one so I wanted to make it special! In the essay, I discuss what to do if you didn’t have positive self-care role models growing up, and why practicing authentic self-care can have such a powerful effect on your self-esteem. I also touch on why self-care can bring up so many feelings! (Truly, it’s power goes very deep!)

I hope the message from this essay is clear. Even if you had hard experiences before, you have the power to change the abusive or neglectful patterns that you learned. You have the power to take responsibility for your life and forgive those who couldn’t care for you before (even if that means intense boundaries or total detachment). You have the power to become a positive self-care role model for those around you.

If you’re learning from and enjoying these reflective self-care missives, please consider preordering your copy of Selfcarefully by contributing to our crowdfunding campaign. We’ve raised more than $5000 with 18 hours left to go! Thank you all so much!

It’s been a pleasure to share “Selfcarefully” with you! I can’t wait to see the places it might go in 2019. I’ll keep you updated along the way and, as always, am so grateful for your support.

With care,
Gracy

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Self-care and Reparenting Yourself

After working with many women around their self-care, I began to notice a pattern. The women in the course would start to put themselves to bed earlier and wake themselves up with gentle, loving routines, like stretching their bodies or drinking a mug of hot lemon water. Then, a whole flush of emotions would come up about their relationship with their parents. As we worked through these feelings in the program, they began to find a lot of healing and sometimes even forgiveness. I began to realize that these women were reparenting themselves through self-care. 

As I understand it, when we are young, our parents are responsible for all of our bodily and emotional care.  Some of us got the good stuff—the patient, loving, fun parents.  But others—like me—had the parents who were really struggling with their own lives and didn't always have a lot of extra care to give away.  I certainly experienced love and care—but I also remember rushed mornings and conflict-ridden bedtimes.  As an adult, I felt stuck in these patterns, and it seemed so hard to take care of myself, almost like it was wrong. When I finally pushed through the resistance and began caring for myself anyway, I gained more confidence. I realized that I could love myself, regardless of other people’s feelings about me.

And yes, with time, I've even begun to forgive my parents.  I see now that they were just doing the best they could—and that I don’t need to repeat their patterns. Staying angry with them only holds me back from the love and joy I desire in my life.  Growing up means I finally want freedom more than vindication.  This has made my life so much richer on every level. 

I'm always amazed by the healing that self-care opens up. When I see how much self-care helps me open my heart and enjoy my life, I feel inspired to take care of myself, no matter how hard it feels in the moment.

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Want to read more? Preorder your own copy of Selfcarefully here.

Thoughts on Feeling Lovable (The Next Taste of My Upcoming Book "Selfcarefully")

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Hello Dearest,

In celebration of my upcoming book, Selfcarefully, I’m sharing five of my favorite sections throughout December into early January. (Read more about how I wrote this book on metro rides and with lots of support here.)

Today, I wanted to share one of the most profound lessons I’ve learned through my study of Ayurveda. It has to do with oil and it has to do with feeling lovable, a place that I have often struggled in my life.

Ayurveda practices are centered around oil. During food cleanses you eat ample ghee (clarified butter), and a time of restoration means you get slathered from head to toe in sesame oil. Being oily is a very, very good thing!

There is a reason for Ayurveda’s obsession with lubrication. In ancient Sanskrit, the word for oily is sneha. Sneha not only means rich in oil, but it also means the feeling of love. Yup, for more than 5,000 years Ayurvedic healers have understood that we need the heavy, grounding quality of oil to maintain our feeling of being lovable in the world.

Read the short essay below to learn more. I hope it helps you reclaim the extent of your own lovability (which I promise you is immense!), and gives you permission to eat more yummy butter with less guilt. :)

If you’re learning from and enjoying these reflective self-care missives, please consider preordering your copy of Selfcarefully by contributing to our crowdfunding campaign.

Thanks for reading and I’ll look forward to sharing the final sample of the book next week!

With care,
Gracy

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Self-care and oil

Something that surprised me about Ayurveda was the importance of oil. Oil, oil everywhere! Ayurvedic practitioners recommend that we eat lots of ghee (clarified butter) in order to stay lubricated from brain to joints to colon.  They also recommend daily self-massage with oil. During my first Ayurvedic massage, they slathered me up with sesame oil, including my hair. It was a great big mess! 

But the mess was worth it not just because of the effect on my skin and muscles. It was worth it because, according to Ayurveda, most imbalances, including anxiety and loneliness, originate in the dry, windy quality of vata. In Sanskrit, the oily quality is called sneha, which also means loving. When we feel dried out and alone, getting oily weighs us down a bit and reminds us that we are connected and loved. 

For me, who experienced a lot of loneliness in my childhood, oily food has always been something I crave. When I first tasted ghee, I wanted to eat the whole jar. Although I felt ashamed about it at the time, this is apparently a typical response. We crave the ghee until we fully saturate the dryness. With time, practice, and lots of oil, I have come to crave this quality less. And inside, I experience more sneha, knowing I can love and be loveable in our world. 

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Want to read more? Preorder your own copy of Selfcarefully here.

Want to Practice Self-Care Without Just Buying More Stuff? Check Out the Next Free Section in My Upcoming Book "Selfcarefully"

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Hello Loves!

It’s been such an exciting December! Over the past couple of weeks, I….

I want to thank you all for your support of Selfcarefully and of my work in general! It’s been an awesome and humbling experience of life to receive so much support in so many ways. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

I’d also like you to know that you can still preorder your copy of Selfcarefully until our crowdfunding campaign ends on January 3rd.

Two reasons you might still do this even though we are officially funded are:

  1. All people who preorder Selfcarefully will be invited to a very special virtual book “unveiling” where the Selfcarefully team will show off the finished copy of the book and share more about our book-making process, which involved lots of self-care like homemade pizza, good conversation and taking breaks when needed. (I want to note that writing this second book has been SO much easier than writing my first book because of this self-care. If you’re considering writing a book, I highly recommend learning more about our process!)

  2. Although the physical copy will not be ready until this spring, you can still give Selfcarefully as a holiday present. Simply preorder your copy and then print out this beautifully-designed certificate. When the book is ready, we’ll contact you to get your loved one’s address. (And yes, I am aware that I am offering this certificate in tandem with an essay critiquing buying stuff as a form of self-care. Alas, although our book could be considered more “stuff,” we hope these ideas extend far beyond the pages into actual people’s lives, work and relationships.)

With that, here is the next essay from Selfcarefully. In it, I discuss how easily we can get confused about our self-care when we try to practice it within a consumerist society. Unless we live off the grid, our lives are bombarded by daily advertising messages telling us that the answer to our problems is to buy more stuff.

And yet, we know in our hearts that real self-care has to go deeper than just things we can purchase. I believer it’s an immense act of self-care to critique the system that tells us we are never enough, and realize that we can be resilient and joyful without buying a single thing.

Read “Self-care and Consumerism” here.

Next week, I’ll share another Boxing Day-section from Selfcarefully. This one touches on something that is both mundane and profound in how it’s affected my life: oil. Tune in next week to read why adding more oil into my self-care routines has helped heal the feeling that I am not lovable (and made my skin so much happier).

Have a wonderful week! And remember that you’re allowed to take care of yourself, even within the most chaotic family moment or during a lonely-feeling holiday. You can drink water, eat food that you love, go to bed early, and politely refuse to participate in a toxic conversation. Trust yourself to take the right action. You know exactly what you need to do.

With care,
Gracy